If you haven’t yet heard of G Force, let me give you the cliff notes:
This Hollywood blockbuster, starring Sam Rockwell, Tracy Morgan, Penelope Cruz, Nicolas Cage, and Zack Galifaniakis is the story of three guinea pigs and one mole who are highly skilled special field agents. Thanks to science, we can communicate with them as humans. They fight crime, take down evil corporations, and they are verrrry witty creatures.
Yup, a group of people wrote this script and said “great idea! Let’s move forward on this one!” Why????? Because it’s amazing, that’s why.
I’m going to tell you a little story: many years ago I made a drunken bet with my buddy CN (my viewing partner for Boy in Blue and National Treasure: Book of Secrets). I stated that anytime an actor is in a movie with talking animals their career takes a sharp nose dive. I was thinking about Cuba Gooding Jr. in Snow Dogs when I made this claim. CN said she thought I was wrong, so I said if she can prove me wrong with five actors I’ll name either my first dog or my first born her first and last name. The next morning I woke up next to a bucket of my own puke and my dog is now named CN. The moral of the story is, don’t make high stakes bets after a Passover party!
Let G Force be another bit of proof at add to her list, as Cage played the Mole in this movie and he went on to do 20 more movies and have someone dedicate 14 weeks of their life to watching only his movies.
Tracey Morgan’s guinea pig had one gem of a line, that I will probably quote for the rest of my life. This clip is the best part of the whole film:
“We gonna take down big mama using baby’s disease!”
You might think that you can’t be a bad actor when performing voice over, but Penelope Cruz really disproves that theory. My god, it was just awful. I haven’t seen voice over acting that terrible since Drew Barrymore in Beverly Hills Chihuahua (I highly recommend getting into that series if you need some punishment).
Cage used basically the exact same voice he used in Peggy Sue Got Married to play the mole, check it out!
Then he admits in this interview that this is the voice he uses when he gets annoyed or frustrated. Can you imagine a pissed on Nic Cage coming at you with his gumby voice? I would pay to see that.
Why’d you chose the mole?
As a working DJ I get a real kick out of this DJ Guinea Pig clip:
The whole soundtrack of the movie was basically post Fergie Black Eyed Peas, so something definitely went wrong in that part of the production. Clearly licensing issues pigeonholed them into this. At the same time, you can only expect the people that decided to a make movie about talking secret agent guinea pigs to use terrible music. At least they’re consistent!
Next up is Bad Lieutenant: Port of New Orleans!!