My god this movie was painful. So so so bad. It really took it out of me. I’ve been cruising so far and taking the good with the bad, but Next might have been the devastating blow that started to crack my spirit.
Nic Cage is a Las Vegas magician and mentalist. But here’s the catch: he can actually see the future! Well, only two minutes into the future. And it’s only his own future. So naturally the FBI wants to use his ability to find where some Eastern block terrorists are hiding a nuclear weapon. Whhhyyyyyyy???
They spent very little on their CG budget, as the action scenes looked terrible:
I managed to stick with it and survive this whole fucking movie with all the bad action scenes, and all of the PAINFULLY cheesy romance scenes with Justin Timberlake’s wife:
And the twist was?!?! When Cage is with this bitch he can see waaaay into the future, and the whole movie was basically his future vision. So we had one of those classic “it was alllllllll a dream!” endings. FUCK THAT. This lazy director needs to quit his job now.
I almost felt like they were setting us up for Next 2, but no God is that cruel.
I would also like you to get into Cage’s look in this movie, it’s the best one I’ve seen since Zandalee:
The silver lining? I did find a clip in Next that perfectly summarizes how my life feels right now:
I’ve fallen on dark times in TWC, but fear not! National Treasure: Book of Secrets is up next!!!